Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Can you crucify yourself?

Recently I read a story on the internet, about a man found in South Korea who had been crucified. The scene as the police found it appeared to recreate the crucifixion of Christ. He had a crown of thorns on his head, had a wound on his side, had been whipped and  he was found nailed to a cross, with two other crosses one on each side.

Unusual maybe, unheard of no…

Why am I wasting your time with this you may wonder?           

Well if for no other reason, then the last line of the story. The South Korean police were investigating if the man had committed suicide or not?

WHAT…SUICIDE??? How on God’s green earth can you commit suicide via crucifixion?  I actually sat with a couple of friends and we talked about this. We do not see how it would be possible for a individual to drill holes and both his palms and feet (apparently the autopsy found a power drill was used to create the holes) we do not feel anyone would have the strength to drill these holes themselves. Not to mention how could you drill a hole in your palm while holding the drill. Then how do you hang yourself on the cross. You could probably do your feet and one hand, but the second one is going to be loose.

Then of course the conversation turned to, if your friends helped you would it be murder or not.

Yes before you ask, we had too much time on our hands…

Friday, June 3, 2011

Adult card revoked

I read a post today on one of my favorite blogs http://sexandthesingledad.com/, he waxed poetically about how you can have your man card revoked, and that you should never allow anyone to hold your balls for you. This got me to thinking about something I heard on the radio recently.

The DJ was talking about the Blake Shelton, Miranda Lambert wedding (they are both country music stars), and was talking about how he had a college educated female friend who was so depressed about Shelton getting married, that it was all she could do to get out of bed. Apparently she thought they were soul mates and destined to be together. He wanted to know if anyone else had friends like this; people who fantasized about meeting and falling in love with a star, to the point where it seriously impacted your life.

If I had not been on my way into work, I probably would have called in and told him yes I had friends who were like that...WHEN I WAS 12...OMG what sane adult really thinks that in the life that out of 310 million people in the USA you really have a chance to meet and fall in love with a music star.

People like this should have their adult cards revoked....so ALA JR's list of how to get your man card revoked, this is how you can get your adult card revoked...

1. Being so in love with any type of star (actor, music, sports, any kind) to the point where you are wasting your life away following them on twitter, or facebook, and telling everyone that you are going  to marry them someday....CARD REVOKED

2. Individuals who baby talk, exception only if talking to a baby, but must be for less than 30 seconds. Anyone who baby talks their partner, should be dragged behind a car naked over a gravel road...Just my opinion :-D

3. People who make plans with friends, co-workers, dates, etc. and bail at the last possible second because, something better came up...CARD REVOKED

4. Photo-maniacs, other wise known as people who bombard you with pictures, of themselves, vacations, children, either in person or electronically. Exception - pictures of a special occasions that you see once and they are never brought up again

5. People who bombard you with what they consider are cute emails that state you must send them to any number of other people including back to the sender. Not only should they get their adult card revoked, they should not be allow to have access to any electronic equipment for at least 6 months.

6. Anyone over the age of 16 who refers to themselves as a GLEEKSTER, or any other such nickname...

These are just off the top of my head, feel free to add any others you can think of....

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Bad Mommy... :-(

I am having a bad mommy day. Today was supposed to be a normal day, go to work come home, do some cleaning, you know what I mean. The USUAL.  No, due to record heat, I had to leave work half way through the day, as they closed the schools.

Now I can understand why they closed the schools, some schools don't have air conditioning, so they have to close them when it gets this hot. I can even understand that with the bus schedules that they have to close all the public schools in the county. However, what I don't understand is why they then have to close my son's private school, which has A.C., and the busing is done by a contracting company.

Oh well, at least this time I found out ahead of time, rather than by the bus company when they were in front of my house.

So I left work early and when "Monkey Boy (MB)" got home from school, I took him to run some errands I was just too lazy to do over the holiday weekend. Now I have not really talked about "MB" before, partly because I am so new to blogging. "MB" is autistic, how severe is a bone of contention between the experts. Between severe and moderate would be a good way to phrase it. He can talk, but is incapable of holding a real conversation. I tell people to look at him as a giant 3-4 year old, as that really seems to be where his development has stalled.

That being the case, taking him on errands is like running a marathon, when part of the course is made of quick sand. I never know when my sweet MB is going to turn into demon spawn. Lucky for me, we got thru the errands I needed to run, and he was wonderful. Of course that might have been the doughnuts and the movie I let him pick out why we were out. I am sorry, some times bribery works.

I would say that my bad mood started on the way home, when he broke the movie, trying to get it out of the case. Then he started screaming for McDonalds, over and over again. So I ignore him, and drive home. I unload my purchases, groceries, and start to put everything away. Meanwhile MB is less than 3 inches from my face, screaming for French fries. When I open the freezer to put the sherbet away he yanks the bag out and I get slammed on the top of the head with a frozen pot roast.

I saw stars and then I saw red. I flipped out; I yelled and then put MB in time out. Maybe I should have gone myself. He yelled in time out for about 30 min straight. We have a rule, he can not come one until he calms down.

Now I feel so guilty, for yelling. The problem is you can never really tell how much he understands in any given situation. So more than likely, I was screaming at a child who does not even understand why I was yelling…

Man I feel like crap….

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

An hour of my life, I will never get back

An hour of my life, I will never get back. Otherwise known as I would sell my soul for a customer service person who speaks English.

For my job today, (yes I have a job) I was supposed to download and install Microsoft security updates on our computers. Why do I have to do this you ask, when you know at home you get to click the little button that looks like a shield and it does everything automatically for you. Well here we have what is called a closed network, meaning no public Internet access. So I have to go to the Microsoft website, and down load the patches then place them on the server and push them out to all the computers.

Normally this is pretty easy...Not today...I say since I have been on the phone with Microsoft for over 45 min (yes I am typing this at work, but its either type this or lose what is left of my mind). I had 13 patches to download, I got the first 10 very quickly and then WHAMO....The other 3 patches I need are not on the download page, so stupid me decided that I should call Microsoft...Yes I know there are people out there slapping the table and asking what the hell was i thinking.

Call me crazy, I figured that since Microsoft released the security bulletins, that they would have the patches...UGH...

So I dial in, and listen to the options and select the one about security updates and then wait...When someone finally answers the phone, I get an overseas call center, where they take my information and tell me that I have the wrong call center and they will connect me to the proper one, and give me the 14 digit case number they have assigned me which they rattle off in about 2 seconds so I make them repeat it 3 times to make sure I have it correct.

This quickly leads to the next four people that I am routed and rerouted to, all of whom want my case number and for me to repeat all of my personal information again so they can confirm who I am...Are you kidding who else would be crazy enough to go through all this....

I have to repeat my story several times over as they insist that I am having download issues, and or the patches are already on my machine and they will show me where to find them...

45 mins in I am transferred again, and this time I get someone who is at least capable of listening..Although I did have to go over everything twice, as she was very confused with what her co-workers had typed into my case file...She puts me on hold for about 15 minutes and says that she can not find the patches either, and that there is nothing she can do....OMG

Soooooo now I have been on hold for well over an hour...and I just have one question....


Monday, April 11, 2011

Sisters, not just blood relations anymore

I have a sister, we were not raised together, in fact we did not meet until I was in my early 30's. I know more about her life now then the family I was raised with. When I have a bad day and need to vent she is the first one I call, and based on the number of times my phone ring and the first words I hear are, "you are not going to believe this shit" it is safe to say I am in the top 3 on her speed dial.

We have bonded over crazy husbands (her current and my ex) lots of booze, children and why we can't kill them. Last year, I got one of the worst phone calls in my life, she found a lump. While I could not be at her side, I was on the phone with her for every step of the way. I laughed with her, cried with her, yelled, cried and threw things when I got off the phone. I did anything and everything I could to be her support and not show her how absolutely scared to death I was that she might be taken.

We were given a gift, even with dealing with some idiot doctors, or more to the point in spite of them. A specialist who rallied with us about the stupidity of some of his medical brethren, got it all. Then we got a second gift, after blood tests showed she did not need kemo or radiation. She will be on medication for the next several years, and even with the horrible side effects, she knows how lucky she is and so do we.

This year I will participate in the Avon walk for breast cancer with my sister, and thank god that we have this chance.

My sister and I are not blood relations, we share no common genes or DNA. We found each other through fate or luck, and I know that I would have missed her even if we had never met.

Love ya chick...see ya in DC

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Can you be too passionate about something

I was talking to my boss yesterday and he told me that I was doing a great job and everyone really liked me (can you hear the but coming???) BUT that he felt I was too passionate about my job. WHAT!!!!!  I have a job that I like going to, which believe me I know is rare. I honestly care about doing my job well, when did that become a bad thing. Now I appreciate constructive criticism but how is that constructive? How can you change that? I am not even really sure what that means. I can only assume, because the boss did not give me specifics, that finishing my work quickly and asking if there is anything else that needs to be done; or offering to help others is the issue. So I am going to slow down and get my work done but not necessarily as quickly and I will wait to be asked for help.

Maybe that will take care of the issue if not then who knows.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Someone call the trailer park, their trash is missing

I was watching Judge Judy today, mostly because my son loves it, and partly because she can be pretty funny sometimes.

This woman is being sued by the father of her children for stupid stuff. When questioned about the relationship, he said that they had been in a relationship for almost 20 years. At that point she interrupted and said that they had not been in a relationship for over 15 years. Judy looked confused at that point and looked at her papers, and said you say you have not been in a relationship for over 15 years. The woman replied, yes your honor, I hate him.

Judy half rolls her eyes and says ok, you hate him and have not been in a relationship for over 15 years. Then can you explain to me how you have a 10 year old child together. This lady looks at her and say with a perfectly straight face. Your honor, I hate him...I have hated him for years but you see I wanted another child, and I wanted both my children should have the same father, so I called him for a booty call.

She was actually proud of this, this idiot felt that having two children with a man she hated was a good thing...

The worst part of it was the guy was suing her for money for gifts he had given her, he didn't want the gifts back just the cash, when he only pays 150 a month in child support for two kids and is several thousand dollars in arrears.

Someone call the trailer park, their trash is missing...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Naked men falling from the sky

A punchline to a joke you ask...the start of a funny story...No

This actually happened, a woman in Mississippi while getting ready for work heard a crash she walked out into her living room to find a naked man and a giant hole in her ceiling. Apparently the man, a neighbor, was hiding out from the police, when they came to arrest him for a parole violation. He climbed thru the attic access in his apartment and was making his way thru the attic when he fell thru his neighbors ceiling.

As I read this story, the one thing that got me wondering, why was the heck was he naked....What does it say about me that I feel the need to know the answer to this question.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Just a Mom

Well if anyone is reading this, you will see that I sign my posts "Just a Mom". This came from a conversation with some friends when we were talking about raising sons. We got into a debate about raising boys, and if it was better in the long run to tell them to "Man Up" when things happened, or let the express their emotions (or to quote my friend Mike, cry like a girl).  During this, I was told that I just don't understand what being a REAL man is all about, because I was just a Mom.

I would like to say that I just smiled at the obvious backward thinking small minded cretin, who made this remark and ignored him, but I would like to believe that any mother would have found this comment difficult to swallow...

I responded with the following (as best as I remember)

Your right, I am just a Mom who is raising her son to be the best person he can possible be. To know that a REAL man can show his emotions and cry when upset and not have his man card revoked. That a REAL man knows that showing emotions is a natural part of life and there is no shame involved. I have shown him through my actions that life can knock you down, and you can show your emotions about it and still "Man Up" and deal with the situation. If my doing that means that I am don't understand what you consider to be a real man, or how to raise a my son to be a decent and caring man because as you state I am "Just a Mom" then fine by me, it is a title I will wear with pride.

Survivor Stupidity

I was watching survivor tonite, yes I admit it...I am addicted to reality tv. Well okay not all of it, I mostly watch reality competitions, survivor, amazing race, top chef...I can't help it, but I supposed if you have to be addicted to something there are worse things I could have chosen, like the bachelor or dancing with the stars.

Ok where was I...oh yes I was watching survivor tonight and two of the contestants were discussing religion. (Now I am not a religious person, but I do believe in a higher power, maybe I will talk about that at a later time).  While watching this, I must say I was slightly disturbed, not because they were talking about God or anything. What upset me was these idiots honestly thought that the winner of the competition was decided by God.

Now I know that if you believe in a higher power, you believe they watch over you and guide you through the trials and tribulations of life, but do you honestly think with all the issues in the world today God gives a tinkers damn who wins Survivor.

To me this is assine, I mean come on we all know that God was watching American Idol....

Where do we start

WOW, where to start in the wonderful world of blogging. Blogging is the 21st version of a diary. You can write what you want and be completely anonymous from the rest of the world. It is your change to say anything no matter how politically incorrect, or even ridiculous it may be. You can keep adding to it, or just stuff it under your mattress (so to speak) and totally forget about it until your mother gives it back to you in a box of childhood things you have been promising to remove from her house for years.

I wonder if in 20 years bloggers will look back at what they posted, just like the diaries of old and be amazed about the crazy things they posted, of if they will even care....