Those of us, who worship at the feet of the Bloggess all know the story of Beyoncé. After learning about Beyoncé, my sister, two friends and I started a diligent search for our own Beyoncé...We spent almost a year searching, we looked high, we looked low...We looked up and we looked down...alas such was our despair at not being about to find that elusive 5 ft. metal chicken. We even contacted people about making us our own Beyoncé, but we could not find anyone who was even willing to consider this.
I had given up all hope of find a Beyoncé of my very own and had fallen into a pit of despair. Then one day I was out shopping, I had gone to Targét (remember the t at the end is silent) and was walking the isles and then I saw it.
It was funky, it was amazingly awesome. It was not as big as Beyoncé only about 20 inches tall, but being that small would make it easier to send to my partners in crime. I grabbed four and ran to the checkout, and brought them home with me. I called my sister, and said I have found Beyoncé’s cousin. I sent her a picture of our new little friend. We discussed names but nothing seemed quite right. Then it struck me. the Bloggess, the Bloggess should name our new little friend.
So I fired off an email with the picture attached, and asked her to bestow a name on the new addition to the family. I wondered if she would answer the email. Would the Bloggess, that quirky wonderful goddess even respond to my email. The next morning, I checked my email and there was a response, she had answered and his name was JINGLEHAMMER. It was perfect and fit my new little friend perfectly. Not how to introduce Jinglehammer to my friends, what note should I send with him. Now to me I pronounce it like Jinglehamma like one would say Jabberwocky, so he definitely has some attitude. So I typed up a the following note:
I don’t knock Motherfucker,
I go where I want, when I want,
For I am JINGLEHAMMER
I attached the note, packed up the boxes and sent them on their way. Little did I know, that Jinglehammer had more attitude that even I knew and that his exploits would soon take on legendary proportions.